Wednesday, September 22

We have made arrangements as follows:

Visitation - 4-8pm on Friday, September 24 @ Cedar Memorial Funeral Home in Cedar Rapids, IA

Funeral - 10am on Saturday, September 25 @ St. Matthew Catholic Parish in Cedar Rapids, IA

Visitation - 5-7pm on Monday, September 27 @ Paul Young Funeral Home in Mt. Healthy, OH

Burial - 10am on Tuesday, September 28 @ Oak Hill Cemetery in Glendale, OH

We have also blocked some rooms at the Homewood Suites in Cedar Rapids, IA for Friday night. They have 2 double queen suites at a rate of $139 and 6 king suites at a rate of $129 - please just mention "Brian Raver" when reserving. The hotel phone number is (319) 378-1140.

Please just let us know in case of any questions.

Tuesday, September 21

Paul fought hard for the past 15+ months and passed away today at about 5pm. He went peacefully with no pain or distress. He took his final breath in comfort and with family by his side. We will miss him, but know that he is now in a better place.

We're in the process of making arrangements and will post the details as soon as we know them. We all appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers.

Paul continues to hang in there, as he is a very strong man.  He had another seizure last Thursday night, and they feel that he is now in the final decline.  It may take weeks, but he is no longer eating any food or drinking any water.  He still has his moments where he will say something quite funny.  He sleeps most of the time now and isn't too interested in his sports any more.  We know he is declining when he doesn't care much about the Reds, Bengals or Purdue.  He is not in any pain, and he looks very peaceful.  Sister Mary Lou told me the other day that she believes he is more with the Lord than with us at this point.  One of the nurses told me that a patient said to her one time that being at the Hospice House is like being on the front porch of heaven.  It is the best place for him to be right now because it is so peaceful, and they take excellent care of him. We continue to spend many hours a day with him, and my brother, Jim, is here again to help out. This is just a funny picture when we caught Jim catching a few zzzz's along with Paul, his Theta Chi fraternity brother.

Paul has had many visitors at the Hospice House but Labor Day weekend brought very good friends from Finland, Bengt and Gerd Lindholm.  We enjoyed spending time with them again, and Paul perked up when Bengt showed him videos of the granddaughters. 
He had a rough day on Tuesday, having six seizures and a possible stroke.  Today Brian and I are waiting and working at the Hospice House to see if he will come out of this spell, or what the future will bring. Andy was here for several hours yesterday, and is only minutes away.  Jeff is checking in regularly, but is now back in Georgia doing regular duty.  Paul is resting very comfortably right now, and he looks very peaceful.  We are praying that he will not experience pain and will continue to be at peace.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support us through these tough times.  We will try to update the blog as we are able to learn more.
Carole

Sunday August 22nd

Paul has moved this week to the Denny and Donna Oldorf Hospice House of Mercy in Hiawatha, near home. Paul has had a few struggles this week and is in the right place to get the care he needs. Paul suffered his first seizure since his diagnosis and is still somewhat recovering from that episode. He is sleeping considerable portions of the day, but still maintains a sense of humor and good spirit when awake. It has been a slow sports week with the Reds west coast road trip and preseason football being so boring. He has mostly quit watching ESPN due to the Brett Favre coverage that he has no interest in hearing about. Cathy had to return to Ohio for school and Jeff will join her there today to start moving back to Georgia. Brian stopped by Friday but then had to leave Saturday for a week of work in Ireland. Andy has been busy as well with a short trip to Charlotte and the constant drive back and forth to Iowa City. Carole has started school again and has completed the first week with students. Carole's brother Jim came to Cedar Rapids for a few days this week to help Jeff while Carole was in school and as always he was a big help. Thanks Bubba. Below is a picture of Dad having fun with the controls to his bed, he raised himself up about 5 feet of the ground and had a huge grin while sitting above all of us. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers Hooah.

Monday, August 16th

Paul continues to have a lot of family visiting him and helping to care for him.  Carole's brother, Jim, and his wife Nancy came out for several days.  They helped with Paul and also trimmed a lot of the bushes and took care of lawn duties.  Brian and Karen came for a long weekend to spend time and to help.  Brian as always, brought great food to grill.  Andy and Tory help every week, and Paul's sister, Beth, and her husband, Jeff, also came out for a day.
The biggest news of all is that Jeff and Cathy came from Georgia.  Jeff was the only one who didn't think the summer heat was so oppressive after spending his time in the desert of Iraq and the swamp of Georgia.  Cathy left tonight to fly to Canton to get an exam taken on schedule.  Jeff will spend a few more days taking care of his dad.

Sunday, July 25th

My room at the Hospice House

The week of July 12-17 I gave my family a little break and went to the Hospice House of Mercy in Hiawatha for a five night respite stay.  I did just fine there, and even enjoyed a whirlpool bath a couple of times. 
We talked to Jeff last night and today, and are very thankful that he is now back in Georgia with Cathy.  They plan on coming out here as soon as he can take leave.  I continue to watch my sports on the television, and have watched the British Open last weekend, and also many Reds victories.  I get a lot of feedback that people enjoy this blog update, even though there isn't much new to say.  My family and I still appreciate all the kind thoughts and prayers coming our way.

Friday, July 9th

I celebrated my 60th birthday on Tuesday, July 6th, with a lot of good company and good food.  Over the weekend my brother Mark, and sister-in-law, Brenda came out to visit.  Then on Monday my mother and two sisters, Barb and Rita, came and stayed through my birthday.  We have had a lot of good meals and many sweets. I received many cards including a very full signature card from my co-workers at Genencor.

I have still enjoyed watching sports on my television, and I am looking forward to the World Cup final on Sunday.  I also try to sling the Reds almost every day that they are on. They are fun to watch and I am so glad that Joey Votto won the vote to go to the all star game. He deserves it.
Andy, Brian and Tory continue to come frequently to help Carole.  Jeff will be leaving Iraq soon, and we are really looking forward to Jeff and Cathy coming.  All the kids know what I like in Bengals and Reds gear, cookies and a new small laptop.

Thanks again for all the support and good thoughts going on in my behalf.

June 22, 2010

I've been watching a lot of the World Cup Soccer. I'm tired of the nil-nil draws. U.S. plays tomorrow and I hope they win! I had a great Father's Day. Brian cooked again! This time he made ribs with potatoes and green beans on the grill. Andy and Tory were here on Saturday so Carole could spend the night out of town for a little R & R. I also got to Skype with Jeff. We talked to Cathy and we don't think it will be long until he comes home. It will be good to see both of them again!

This picture is of Brian and Karen when they were here the weekend before Father's Day weekend.

 Jan and my caretaker, Donna. We went for a walk around the block and then sat outside for a while. It was hot but good to be outside.
Carole's sister, Jan, came out this week. Grandma has her boys for the four days she is in Iowa. My family will be visiting us the first weekend in July to celebrate the 4th and also for my birthday.

Tuesday, June 8

Dad has been doing pretty well the last few weeks. He continues to watch the Reds almost every night, and he enjoys getting outside when he feels up to it. Lately his appetite has come back quite strong and he's enjoying a beer many days, too. He's starting to struggle with some confusion, but physically he's doing pretty well.

Here are a few recent pictures.  The first has Mom and Dad with Mom's brother, Jim (who continues to be a HUGE help by visiting every few weeks -- I think he could probably drive between Cedar Rapids and Chicago in his sleep, and based on the time of day he usually leaves I wonder if that's what he's actually doing!).  The second picture is Mom and Dad on Memorial Day.  The last is two big Reds fans enjoying a nice cold one.

Sunday, May 23

Paul continues to hang in there, having lots of visitors to spend good time with him.  A couple of weeks ago my mom, sister and two nephews came out for a short visit.  Paul was happy to see everyone and enjoyed watching a movie, "Slumdog Millionaire", with all of them.  His brother, Mark, and sister-in-law, Brenda,   came out this past weekend.  We had a fun visit with them, and good food as well.  The last picture is of Paul getting outside with his primary caregiver, Donna.  She is very good to all of us, and takes special care of Paul.  The weather has been much better for getting outside.  He enjoys the walks in the wheelchair.  Today he got up in the recliner for dinner and had another one of his Leffe Bruin.  He still enjoys following the Reds on the sling box, and any other sports that are on television.  I often get home from school and find Paul and Donna watching Sports Center.  Thanks again for all the prayers and good thoughts coming for all of us.  Carole

Friday, May 7

There haven't been too many big changes with Dad lately.  He continues to do pretty well physically - he's been out of the bed a couple times with the help of the lift.  The picture below was taken when Brian and Karen were here and helped him sit in the recliner for a while.  We've also continued to have a lot of help from friends, family and neighbors.

Right now Dad and I are sitting and having a Leffe - bruin for him and blonde for me.  Carole is headed to Minneapolis for the weekend.  It's good for Carole to finally get a weekend away, as she really needs some relaxation time.  Somehow I'm guessing that she might find at least an hour or two to go shopping!

We continue to appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers, and assistance that you've all given us.  Thank you all so much.

 

Sunday, April 25

Dad has had another good couple of weeks. He's had a lot of great visitors and has even been able to make it outside a few times. Cathy is here for a week to spend some quality time with Dad and help us all out. Tory's parents also came for a visit yesterday. Jim was also here again to help out and will be back again in a week or so. Dad really enjoys all the company even though it does wear him out. He feels bad when he has to kick people out so he can get some sleep, but we've assured him that no one minds and everyone is happy just to see him for a short time. We also really appreciate all the help!

Here are a few pictures from Dad's trips outside:



And, here's a group shot that Tory's mom took for us:

Monday, April 12

Dad had a good weekend.  Yesterday he felt strong enough to try the lift again, and he sat in the chair for 2 hours while he watched golf, skyped with Jeff, and ate dinner.  He was a little tired (and I think he was nervous without having Donna, our expert lift operator, here).  He really enjoyed being out of bed again and also enjoyed having a refreshing beverage as you can see in these pictures.

We've been lucky to have some great visitors again over the last few weeks.  Dad really enjoys having the company and we all appreciate the help!  Dad even learned that his sister Beth makes a great pot roast and brown potatoes that tastes just like his Mom makes.  We've also enjoyed the nice warmup in the weather and are using the grill a bit more often, although cold weather never stopped Brian before.  Dad is hoping to be able to use the lift to get into a wheelchair and go outside soon.

Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers and assistance!

Sunday, March 28

Thanks to the help of a contraption called a Hoyer Lift, dad is now able to get out of bed for the first time in over 2 months. The lift was delivered on Wednesday and he's now used it each day since. After being on his back 100% of the time since January 4th, it's pretty difficult to sit up for any extended period of time. However, he managed to sit in his chair for about an hour and 15 minutes yesterday including for dinner. Here are some pictures of the lift in action and the more comfortable destination:


We were disappointed to see the Boilers run come to an end on Friday night, but all in all we can't be too disappointed with the season. The next logical step is to become a Butler fan for the rest of the tournament...

Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers!

Monday, March 22

Dad would like to give everyone an update since it's been a few weeks since his last post.  The disease has progressed to the point where he's confined to his bed 100% of the time.  He's also sleeping quite a bit more, but he would never miss a Purdue basketball game.  The real challenge will come next Friday when they play at 9pm -- we're thinking that might need to be a Tivo game.  It's been a great surprise to see the Boilers make a good run into the tournament, and hopefully they'll keep playing well.

We've had more visitors the last couple weeks as Carole's mom and brother have both been out to help.  Countless people have donated meals, flowers, contraband or so many other things.  Everyone's assistance and thoughtfulness is very, very much appreciated.

We're busy watching Dancing with the Stars on the big screen now.  Dad is disappointed that Ocho Cinco didn't get better scores -- we thought he was great.

That's all for now.  Take care!

Sunday, March 7

I've had a good couple of weeks including several visitors. Two weekends ago my sister Barb brought my mother out to Iowa from Indiana, last weekend my sister Beth came from Peoria, and this weekend my brother Mark and sister Rita came from Indiana. It was great to spend some time with each of them and catch up. It was also nice for Carole to get some much needed assistance.

I've been continuing to watch a lot of basketball lately. I'm disappointed that the Boilermakers won't have Robbie Hummel down the stretch, but I was happy to see them win a share of the Big Ten title yesterday. We also enjoyed watching the Linn-Mar girls win a state championship last night!

I told Brian 2 weeks ago that I wished I could have some Leffe Brune - my favorite beer in the world. This is a challenge since the only way you can get it in the US is on tap on the East Coast. His work colleagues in the Netherlands came through quickly though and I received a shipment of 4 bottles when Brian arrived this weekend. I've really enjoyed having 1 each of the past couple of nights. "Dank u wel" to Enno and Ferens!

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, February 16

I had a great weekend with my friend, Randy.  Randy was the best man in our wedding and is a fraternity brother.  We cried and we laughed quite a lot.  We had lots of memories to cover.  Here's a picture of the two of us.

I also got quite a bit of help having a nice Valentines Day dinner including flowers for Carole and take-out from Granite City.  Thanks to everyone who helped make that happen.

We've been watching quite a bit of basketball and of the Winter Olympics.  I have to say that ski jumping looks a lot better on my HDTV than figure skating does.

Wednesday, February 10

Not much new to report for me. The last couple weeks have been pretty uneventful. I'm still resting in bed full-time, but that's been a pretty nice place to be during the snowstorms. Everyone is taking good care of me, and I'm pretty comfortable most of the time. Thanks to all who have contributed their efforts in so many ways!

It's been a great week for the Boilers. A Super Bowl MVP and a big road win lifted my spirits this week. We enjoy watching basketball games, especially now that they're on a big winning streak!

I'm really looking forward to a visit from one of my oldest friends, Randy, this weekend.  Randy was best man in our wedding, and we're so happy that he can come out and visit for a few days.  We continue to be blessed by extraordinary family and friends.

That's all for now.  Take care and stay warm!

Sunday, January 31

It's been a couple of weeks since we provided an update, so I thought we better write something. The last two weeks have been relatively uneventful for Dad as he just rests comfortably at home. He had a couple of events requiring some nursing attention, but his Hospice nurses have been able to get him back to comfort quickly for the most part.

Mom is tired, but appreciates all of the support she is getting from family and friends. Grandma Bell (Carole's mom) and Jim (Carole's brother) both spent a week at the house with Mom, Andy and Tory are here on a near daily basis, Brian is here every weekend, and Jeff talks with dad on Skype as much as possible.

Mom and Dad celebrated their 38th Wedding Anniversary on Friday. Tory brought flowers for Mom at Dad's request as well as chocolate malts from Whitey's - always a big hit! We also got a To-Go order from Red Robin which Dad enjoyed along with a little bit of beer.

Dad asked me to let everyone know that he appreciates their thoughts and prayers.

Saturday, January 16

Dad left the hospital on Wednesday afternoon as planned and is now resting comfortably at home. He continues to be extremely weak and needs more and more sleep. Unfortunately, he is no longer strong enough to stand the chemotherapy and therefore has made the decision to stop curative treatments. He is now under Hospice care and the focus is on ensuring he is as comfortable and pain-free as possible. This is a hard time for all of us, but we understand that he does not want to continue like this.

Dad had a great morning today spending time with his family. His mother Shirley was able to spend a couple of hours by his side and they both enjoyed this valuable time. Grandma was accompanied by dad's sisters Rita and Beth as well as his brother Mark and sister in-law Brenda. It was great to see everyone.

Tuesday, January 12

Last Monday (1/4) dad went to the University of Iowa Hospital's Emergency Room because he was continuing to feel weaker and also had some swelling of his legs. They found that his blood oxygen was a little low and also discovered that he had developed some blood clots in his lungs. He was placed on Oxygen and blood thinners, but then started to have some other problems as well. On Wednesday he started developing severe belly pain and on Thursday they performed a decompression of the colon (colonoscopy) to relieve the pressure and this helped right away. He began to have some bloody noses on Thursday and Friday at which time they stopped the blood thinners. On Friday the belly pain returned and they performed another decompression - this time leaving in a nasogastric (ng) tube down the nose as well as a tube from the colon to help things exit properly. The belly issues seem to be something called Ogilvie's Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogilvie_syndrome) and were treated accordingly. Over the weekend, they continued to keep him comfortable and the tubes did their job. On Monday the ng tube was removed and everything continues to function normally - the second tube will eventually pass on its own as it is not "attached" in any way. This morning he was cleared to start eating again, and we're hoping to go home tomorrow assuming everything continues to go well.

Dad would like to thank everyone who continues to think of him and pray for him.